FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
