I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
