i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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