No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
