only you would photoshop your dick
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
