And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
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