This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
