ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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