Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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