I wanna bring you to show and tell
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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