so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
