Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
This is my gift to your gina
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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