I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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