the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
