If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
