Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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