i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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