we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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