I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
