when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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