I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
