I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize