Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
