There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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