u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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