I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Randomize
