I can text with my tongue
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize