that's an acceptable place to lick
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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