Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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