I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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