I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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