So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
