No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
