do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
