well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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