Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
