are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
