Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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