Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Randomize
