I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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