i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
