yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
