I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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