wat bout pragnant strippers??
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
