Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize