oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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