Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
