I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
