And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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