scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
