Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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