Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
