real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
