It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Randomize
