You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
