So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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