Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
