You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
