So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
