he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
